


regenerations are tenta-cool!

by ochresplatter



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Tentacles, au where 13 is a tentacle monster, thats it thats the drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ochresplatter/pseuds/ochresplatter
Summary: spyfall but 13 has tentacles
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	regenerations are tenta-cool!

**Author's Note:**

> in anticipation of the special and in celebration of it being almost exactly a year since spyfall i'm posting This Mess.

O stops in mild horror when instead of procuring a ladder or jetpack the Doctor’s coat simply splits open and a mass of tentacles propel her upwards to view the particular TARDIS panel she simply had to investigate to ensure they’d land properly on time for Barton’s party.

“Yeah,” says Yaz, wincing. “The Doctor does have tentacles. Please don’t be weird about it.”

The Master pulls mild-mannered O around him and stutters something about it not coming up in whatsapp and not wanting to be rude to an alien, brushing off one of the things he hadn’t accounted for in his myriad plans to doom the Doctor and herded her annoying humans off.

“Seriously, though, mate,” Ryan advised when they’re all besuited and strolling through a Californian vineyard “After King James none of us can really handle any of the extreme responses to the tentacles, so even if you’re too into them just be cool. The Doctor isn’t into- any of that.”

* * *

Spy-  _ master _ , he hisses joyfully looking at her horror, at her flailing in front of her pet humans, riding the high until he teleports out. When he telepathically relives the scene to savour it all over again, he jolts out of the recollection in shock. 

When he passed her in the cabin had her tentacles been  _ stroking _ him?

* * *

When he chokes her, she gasps for breath in horror, and her jacket opens up and now the Master is gasping for breath. No matter, he can outlast her because she forgot to use her respiratory bypass if her regeneration even has one and surely those tentacles didn’t act unconsciously?

They did act unconsciously, the Master sulkily concluded after having woken up hours after they’d mutually choked to unconsciousness and some very embarrassing bruises on top of the Eiffel Tower. Rosy-fingered dawn was approaching, and the Doctor’s tentacle’s likely couldn’t hold off the Nazi mortars he could see being prepped on the ground like they’d apparently held off any attempted door jamming. Perhaps it was time to talk at least some things out, even if it did end up in a fistfight. If the Master hadn’t managed to sprout tentacles yet, then perhaps the Time Lord and the Timeless Child weren’t so similar after all.

* * *

“So it was the tentacles that got you back together again!” crowed Graham as they fled from the space squid mating season. “I told Yaz- didn’t I Yaz- that sometimes a change helps people on a break understand what they mean to each other again!”

“It was not the tentacles,” hissed the Master, aiming the TCE at a too-close squid beak, “Our relationship has outlived your pitiful human civilisations and doesn’t need something as pitiful as unconsciously moving psychic tentacles to mend it, you mewling human.”

“Mewling human- that’s ten points to Graham, putting him in first place for your Least Favourite Fam Member, dethroning me!” chirps Yaz, wielding a cleaver with more enthusiasm than anyone really should to sever any tentacles that were attempting to reach for the TARDIS.

The Master smirked, as he heard explosions, and loud explanations from the TARDIS console as the Doctor finally fixed whatever had dropped them in the middle of the asteroid field that was space squid breeding ground, and felt a welcoming tentacle brush over his hair in comfort.

Alright, maybe it _had_ been the tentacles.


End file.
